 November 17, 2021 NEWSLETTER |
=============================START YOUR JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS TODAY!CALL ME FOR A FREE INITIAL PHONE CONSULTATION. |
To make an appointment: Call (562) 618-3099 or E-Mail lukebenoit@lukebenoit.com. Luke Benoit Coaching allows you to walk around the whole life model that includes Finance, Relationships, Career, Personal Development, Environment, Health, Fun, and Creativity. First, we set goals and an action plan, and then the sessions develop according to your needs, integrating the most current trends in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). The holidays are upon us! Gift someone you love who is stressed out with a suggestion to give Luke a call for a free consultation. For more info, check out Luke Benoit's Website. |
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Quick Anxiety Tapping Instructional Video |
What can you do when your anxiety is getting the better of you and you need to calm down immediately? In this clear instructional video, I present Basic Tapping for Anxiety (which combines elements of EFT and Faster EFT), while demonstrating a Self-Tapping procedure that includes the tapping points on the face and chest, plus an easy example of what to say as you tap. I believe anyone new to tapping will find this video particularly helpful since it presents the basic building blocks for any topic they need to tap on. |
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Got Life Questions? Need Answers? Ask Luke! Luke’s Q & A Video Series is starting up! Send questions to lukebenoit@lukebenoit.com. |
November 8, 2021 NEWSLETTER
In this Issue:
Addictive Relationships: Parenting and Childhood Programming
For more info, check out Luke Benoit's Website.
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FACING ADDICTIVE RELATIONSHIPS: PART 2 - PARENTING |
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meditation: Today, I will see that what I sometimes call Love is only BLIND LEADING BLIND ______________________ You can't blame someone for not coming through for you in the way you wanted when they don't have the skills in the first place to give you and Do what you want them to do and how can you make them responsible when you knew that in the first place and only CHOSE TO FORGET. --Luke Benoit, All Storms Pass: The Anti-Meditations 2 [Rain and Fire] ==== ADDICTIVE RELATIONSHIPS / PART 2: PARENTING AND CHILDHOOD PROGRAMMING This week’s newsletter continues my “Addictive Relationships” lecture with Part 2 (links below), which focuses on the parenting situation that created the two people who end up in an addictive relationship. The thing about Addictive Relationships that is so puzzling is the way that they always operate on more than one level. They are never only what they appear on the surface and there is always much more going on than meets the eye. At face value when you first look at an addictive relationship you will generally see: 1. A Needy Person: The “Love Addict.” 2. An Avoidant Person: The “Avoidance Addict” who is afraid of Intimacy and Closeness, so they are easily engulfed or overwhelmed. The Love Addict and the Avoidance Addict will be chasing each other, alternately seducing and advancing—then pulling away—in a painful drama of insanity which leaves them both not knowing whether they are coming or going. But there is so much more going on here beneath the surface of this picture, which is largely informed by the toxic styles of parenting that these two people have received. On the one hand, we have the Love Addict who experienced Abandonment Parenting with a parent who either wasn’t there or was only there intermittently. On the other hand, we have the Avoidance Addict who experienced a smothering, Energy Vampire Parenting, which left them feeling used and overwhelmed with a need and mandate to help and take care of other people…which is why they push their lover away when things get too close or intense in relationship. Figuring out this fascinating puzzle and getting down to these old roots is the key to dismantling the toxicity of their dynamic, and absolutely necessary if there is to be any hope at all for these two to overcome their poisonous patterns. |
ADDICTIVE RELATIONSHIPS - PART 1 |
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meditation:
Today, I will try to understand PUSHING YOU and ME AWAY. ______________ I've tried everything to get you to stop wanting me.
I've tried everything I can think of to
push you away.
And you have done the same to me although sometimes, we didn't know it or it didn't look like it.
But you're still here and I'm still here
and maybe that means that God does have that sick sense of humor after all.
And is this what they call Love,
not something to wait for... but just the way it was supposed to be all along?
And if you disappeared tomorrow or you were abducted by aliens or even if you just
wandered off
would it feel like I had been left with a hole in my side or my soul or
my sky
even though you always took all the blankets and pulled all my covers
every night, and I never understood how You could be
WARM and COLD
at the same Time.
—Luke Benoit, All Storms Pass: The Anti-Meditations 2 [Rain and Fire] |
Well…Addictive Relationships
are alive and still thriving in our world. My office has experienced a resurgence of their energy and presence as does happen so often. Addictive relationship cases seem to come in waves and often seem to find me—probably because of my own personal history.
I must admit that addictive relationships fascinate me mostly because they present and appear to be one thing, although much much more is going on beneath the surface. What appears to be about simply passion and rejection is really about abandonment and avoidance that is rooted in what happened long long ago in the couples own personal histories.
The key to undoing the troubles for these people lies not just in adjusting what’s going on in the present moment, but going back into their histories and even looking at what kinds of child abuse they may have experienced that may not have been dealt with.
I invite you to click on the link above to watch my “Addictive Relationships” lecture on YouTube, which interprets and builds on the material in Pia Mellody’s very helpful books: Facing Love Addiction and Facing Codependence.
In this video, you will find life-changing information about breaking away from the old programming and negative relationship patterns that hold people back.
Just in time for Halloween, we examine the metaphor of two masked love addicts who meet and fall into romance at a “Masquerade.” Once the party is over and they’ve embarked on a whirlwind relationship that culminates in children … Why do they find themselves bewildered and unable to cope?
Look closely at whether or not you identify with any of the dynamics that are explained in my video. Is this you? Is there work that you need to do with regard to undoing these patterns so that you can become free? Or do you tend to start a new relationship before completely working through what’s needed for you both?
If left unresolved, the pattern is guaranteed to repeat.
I hope you’ll find this video helpful. As always, I welcome your feedback and look forward to your requests for consultations. |
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=============Looking For Answers? Check out Luke Benoit's YouTube Channel. ============= |
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Very excited to announce that Luke Benoit's second book in his All Storms Pass series. Now available on Amazon! Summary: Sometimes dark, sometimes hopeful, All Storms Pass: The Anti-Meditations 2 [Rain and Fire] offers a different kind of Recovery book. Luke Benoit, has crafted thought-provoking meditations that confront and explore the Universal Themes of Healing, Addiction, Self-Help, and Spirituality. This book follows the first book in the series: All Storms Pass: The Anti-Meditations. Reviews: “Benoit does not attempt to offer readers magical solutions, but supplies aid as a fellow traveler who has come many times to a crossroads that asks him to choose between Light and Darkness, and he continues to choose Light. A 2-fisted, take-no-prisoners approach to coping with challenges.” —Midwest Book Review “As a mental health professional for 20 years who has read a lot of psychology and good advice, I found messages in this book that are from a new and enlightening perspective.” —Sydney Snow, Psych Nurse “Inspiring! In the amorphous space between poetry, self-help, aphorism, personal development and mantra lies Luke Benoit’s new masterpiece.” —W. Drew Weinbrenner, Author of East of Pouring |
PRAISE FOR ALL STORMS PASS: THE ANTI-MEDITATIONS (Book 1): “The power to change one's life lies in one's own hands. All Storms Pass is thoughtful and powerful reading that will resonate clearly and fully on many levels ... an excellent pick for anyone looking for a way to fire their way through life.” —Midwest Book Review (Book 1). |
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RECOVERY POETRY SLAM: BOOK LAUNCH FUN! Recovery Poets came together to celebrate Luke Benoit's newest meditations book, All Storms Pass (2) - Rain and Fire. |
Now what about YOU? How are you doing? What's on your mind these days? We'd love to hear from you, even if just to check in and say "Happy Fall!" We'll be following up this newsletter with weekly updates, survey questions, and mental health tips! Stay tuned! And Stay Healthy!
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LET'S RECONNECT! • September 21, 2021 NEWSLETTER
Okay, not an actual "coupon." These initial phone consultations are always free and geared towards gaining clarity and strategic analysis. Feel free to let your friends know!
NEED A RECIPE FOR HAPPINESS? LUKE'S GOT YOU!
NEW BOOK!
Very excited to announce that Luke Benoit's second book in his All Storms Pass series. Now available on Amazon!
Sometimes dark, sometimes hopeful, All Storms Pass: The Anti-Meditations 2 [Rain and Fire] offers a different kind of Recovery book. Luke Benoit, has crafted thought-provoking meditations that confront and explore the Universal Themes of Healing, Addiction, Self-Help, and Spirituality. This book follows the first book in the series: All Storms Pass: The Anti-Meditations.
“Benoit does not attempt to offer readers magical solutions, but supplies aid as a fellow traveler who has come many times to a crossroads that asks him to choose between Light and Darkness, and he continues to choose Light. A 2-fisted, take-no-prisoners approach to coping with challenges.”—Midwest Book Review
“As a mental health professional for 20 years who has read a lot of psychology and good advice, I found messages in this book that are from a new and enlightening perspective.”—Sydney Snow, Psych Nurse
“Inspiring! In the amorphous space between poetry, self-help, aphorism, personal development and mantra lies Luke Benoit’s new masterpiece.” —W. Drew Weinbrenner, Author of East of Pouring
PRAISE FOR ALL STORMS PASS: THE ANTI-MEDITATIONS (Book 1):
“The power to change one's life lies in one's own hands. ALL STORMS PASS is thoughtful and powerful reading that will resonate clearly and fully on many levels ... an excellent pick for anyone looking for a way to fire their way through life.”—Midwest Book Review (Book 1).
New Podcast Interviews with Luke Benoit
This past summer was a busy one as All Storms Pass (2) launched with podcast interviews to promote the book.
PUT IT TOGETHER CONVERSATIONS WITH DANIEL G. GARZA:
Recovery Poets came together to celebrate Luke Benoit's newest meditations book, All Storms Pass (2) - Rain and Fire.
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